Day 34 - The 8 miles that didn't happen

Well we didn't make the eight miles and that is a good thing.  We started out on our big walk and as we were walking people kept passing us by, walkers, runners, little old ladies and little old men.  This one woman blew by us running with her baby in a stroller, she wasn't jogging, but running.  She passed a walker who had blown by us a few minutes earlier, and I sat and wondered how they were going to keep up that pace.   It wasn't long until the runner was walking and the walker was passing her by, then the runner turned around and not to long after that so did the walker.  We did pass one couple.  They had a brand new German Shepherd and the puppy was taking in all the new sights and sounds it was very beautiful to see.    Did you know that I absolutely love puppies.

So we made it into the park all the way to the buffalo patch.  I wanted to go on, but TH knew better and made us turn around.  A good thing too - I almost didn't make the last mile.  As I was dragging back to the car I kept thinking oh dear I am going to have to tell T2 I can't walk 50 miles.  We got home and everything ached.  TH said he would have walked a bit faster, but he was being a good husband and keeping pace with me.  My spirits were really low, I have been walking T almost everyday for a month - we have worked our walks to be 60-90 minutes TH hasn't been walking and he had no problem with the walk.  

I wondered if the diet might have something to do with being so achy and tired.  According to the pedometer I used up the total amount of calories that I am allowed for the day.  Which means my body was either fueled by lean muscle or fat.  I hope fat - after yesterday I am not sure how much muscle mass I have left.

So I was worried about pain- that is the only good thing, today I feel fine.  Yesterday I didn't think I would be able to walk again for a week - today I think I can do it again.  But most importantly I had no knee pain during that entire walk!!!

Today is TH's sons baby shower, so no walk, just a very long drive.

Day 33 - T&TH's Excellent Adventure

Today T & TH are going adventuring, that is walking 8 miles.  We will see who gives up first.  I am thinking it will be me.  HE is a stubborn man, and I haven't walked more then 1.5 hours which leads me to believe that I cannot walk 8 miles yet.  We have decided to leave the dogs behind - which means we are going to have to take them for a walk when we get back.  We need a hot tub here in the city.

Yesterday T and I walked over hill and dell and everyone commented on T.  I don't know what it was usually nobody comments or even looks at her, but yesterday I kept getting the same question - is she full blooded GSD?  You know that they are not really dog people if they can't tell.  Finally one person asked if "he" was a German Shepherd, and I responded you got it half right and walked away.   Too subtle?  Maybe he was left pondering if she was German or a Shepherd - Oh well.

Wish me luck...

Day 32 - Casinos

Yesterday big D and I went to a casino to lose some money.  I enjoy playing the slots, but just once I would like to win big.  I haven't ever won anything more than $200 and that was back when I was poor and the $200 meant something.  But every time I go to the casino now I hope to win big - you know like $500K- I figure I have poured enough money into them that it is my time.  Everybody has a winning streak - where is mine?  With the $500K I would do many things, and all for me.  Not a generous person am I.

But I didn't win big and came home with an empty wallet.  I also starved big D.  Usually when we go to the casino we stop for breakfast, eat lunch and maybe stop for dinner.  This time I made her an English Muffin for breakfast, she had no lunch and I bought her an apple pie (Hostess) and a candy bar for dinner.  When she got out of the car she nearly fainted from hunger.  What an evil daughter am I.

I now understand BIL1 hatred of the bay area traffic.  We left at 3 or thereabouts and I didn't get home until 8pm.  The traffic was stop and go the minute we hit 580 - it was horrible.  I wanted to pound my fist and yell, but I didn't.

There was a welcome sight when we pulled up to her house and I felt all tension go out as little N jumped up and greeted me.  Have I said that that little one can jump?  Then T1 greeted me and life was good.

Day 31 - Smart Dog

We are off to the casino to make big bucks, or give up big bucks depends on the spin.  I have one game that I really like, but it cost like $4 bucks a pop to play.  But of course it is a penny machine.  All the little old ladies and little old men run for these penny machines thinking eh whats a penny.  Wrong!!!  In the old days it was nickel machines and you would pluck in your nickel and you would win or lose with that one nickel - now it is play up to 45 nickels ($2.25).  It would be better to do quarters which is usually max 3 (.75) or 5 (1.25), and the pay out is better with quarters.  My friend K likes the $1 but I just can't go there I will stick with my penny machine that charges me 400 pennies to play ($4.00).  Yea makes perfect sense to me.

So I am in the bathroom and I have this granite floor that is really slippery when wet (I know I know why have a slippery floor in a bathroom- ask the contractor)   Anyway T followed me in for her good morning rub down, which is our routine in the morning.  However, this morning there was water on the floor as I had filled her water bowl and had spilled the water coming out.  When she came in she slipped a bit and then gingerly made her way over to me.  It was hilarious watching how careful she was to make her way over the treacherous floor.  After arriving she stood on the bathmat and got a good rub down, then it was time to leave.  I walked out the door and turned around and there she was staring first at the floor then at me.  I told to her come and she just kept staring at the floor and then at me.  I told her she had to be a brave girl and come and she continued to stand there.  I just waited to see how long it would be before she got up the courage to follow me then she did the most amazing thing.  I had my towel and clothes on the bathtub edge getting ready to shower and she first knocked the towel on the floor and pushed it up over the bare floor, then she took my shirt in her mouth and walking on the towel dropped my shirt on the bare floor the grabbed my pants and did the same thing and she came prancing out of the bathroom gave me a quick sniff and a sly smile and walked off.    

Now that is one smart dog.

Day 30 - Group

Last night group was a bit of a free for all.  We had one person who got back from a wedding held in PV and talked about how she had the wait staff in the hotel, restaurants, and at the wedding doing her bidding.  I got the impression that if/when she loses all the weight she is going to be a bit of a princess.  So far she has admonished the clerk at the desk at least 3 of the the 6 weeks we have been coming in.  The first time was about the money, not that she didn't want to pay, she just didn't think it was the correct time to pay.  She went on and on in a fairly loud abrasive voice.  The second time was when she was going on a trip and wanted to order food for two weeks because she was going to be missing one week, and the third time was because she didn't know she was suppose to sign in and then be called up to pay.  Now it was the third time that was the most interesting to me.  We had been signing in since the first week as she must have done for the first two weeks, but for some reason she thought she should just stand in line.  I wasn't sure what she was thinking when the clerk called people up and they went ahead of her.  I guess the lack of food turned off her brain.  But she finally figured it out and kept talking to the clerk as she was checking people in how the clerk should have made it clear to her and how she had been standing there waiting blah blah blah.  Then when she went up to pay she made more comments about it and finally after group she made more comments about.  The next week she came in and signed in and made one more comment about it.  Talk about not letting something go...

We have one person in group that is getting therapy and she always is saying things like I am loving myself just the way I am no matter what weight I am.  I accept who I am no matter what weight I am.  But though the words come out of her mouth they don't follow her body language.  I don't know what it is, but I just get the feeling that she is not a happy person.   There is some vibe coming off her that I just don't like and out of everyone there she is the only one I haven't gone and talked to.

The most obnoxious person in the group though is this one lady.  She works at Kaiser so maybe that is why she is in the program.  I actually talked to her last night and did like her, but I am thinking she is a ringer.  She is the one who only has 20 pounds to lose and she is the one who isn't really doing the program.  So she did a check-in and said she forgot to eat at all one day so the next day she had KFC to make up for the food she didn't eat the prior day.  She talked about how hard it was to follow the program and we must have spent half the group time on her.  Finally, one person piped up and said are you sure you even want to be in the program, you aren't even trying...

It was actually an interesting night all in all, and I finally got my sleeping pills!!!!

 

Day 29 - Ocean Beach

Well when I finished trying to work I gathered T up and decided it was off for our walk and dang nab it I was going to do four miles if it killed me.  So I thought we would do Golden Gate Park because it is all up hill out and all down hill back so I grabbed my I-Touch and headed for the door only to find that my I-Touch was dead.  Battery all used up, no BOT while I walked - no Golden Gate Park.  So it was off to the beach.  The surf is so loud even with my noise cancelling earphones (which I have to say are truly spectacular) I can't hear my I-Touch so it is the one place I walk without it.

As I have said before walking on the beach is like walking in heaven or what I would expect heaven to look like.    It is the most wonderful experience one can possible have.  It beats mountains, plains, deserts and forests hands down.  Go to the beach if you really want to commune with nature and be a part of it.

So I wasn't really in the mood to walk to tell the truth, and I really didn't think without my BOT I was going to do four miles, but once we were walking along we both got a bit of a bounce in our step and we just kept going and going and going until we ran out of beach which low and behold was 2 miles.  The first mile was very easy - felt on top of the world, by the time we hit the 2 mile mark I was tired, but thought I could go another half mile and maybe even mile and make it back, but I was pleased with what we had done so we turned around and bam  we were walking into gale winds (maybe a little exaggeration but not much.)

By the time I got to the car I was almost crawling, and I didn't feel like the Ocean was my friend anymore.  Next time maybe I should start the other way.  

Day 28 - Four weeks already?

Can't believe it has been four weeks, time has a way of getting away from you no matter how hard you try to slow it down.  T Baby once told me she can diet because the day will pass anyway so why not let this day be a diet day.  I don't know it sounded better the way she said it.

Die - it.  What a dreadful word.  And I just can't get out of my funk.  Know why overweight people are happy?  Because they are always on a sugar high.  Miss my happy sugar highs.

Still haven't started working.  It is very hard to concentrate on work.  That is why I tried to get everything done before I started, but I still need to complete one more project and it is really hard for me to even think about it.  My brain is in total non work mood.  This diet is not just physical but mental, and I don't know how others manage to go to work everyday.  But those that do say it is harder on the weekends then during the week, so who knows, maybe I am the fool.

I haven't had food dreams, but I had another anxiety dream this time about the walk, but it wasn't a walk but a bike ride, and it wasn't flat it was all hills and I tried riding and I couldn't even get up a little hill, and the sponsor told me that they wouldn't let me ride because I was too out of shape, and I told them that the bike didn't have gears if I had my bike I might be able to climb the hill...

Ah well...