Day 140 - WOW I guess I am not eating potatoes any more

As far as veggies go, potatoes are my go to food.  I love potatoes, mash, baked and fried.  I like them in my curries - it is the only part of stew I like - I like them at breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I like potatoes.  TH made these baked potatoes with rosemary and I- like- ate them all.

Now I didn't go over my calories or even come close, but talk about not being able to stop.  I had them for my lunch and dinner.  I probably would have had them for breakfast too if I hadn't gotten up at noon.  So I have been staying away from those foods I love but can't stop eating (anything good) but I really thought I could handle the potatoes.  Oh well.  At least for the next month I will not have to worry about food.  First delivery tomorrow, I am excited - it looks like a lot of food, but I am guessing small portions.

It is going to be about 200 calories more then I have been eating, but I guess I am going to have to start - if I start gaining weight at 1200 calories I am going to be really upset.  But when I started I was at 1400 calories then for most of the diet I was at 1120, only for the last three weeks was I at 960.  Now I kind of wished I was at 960 longer.  So maybe it is all in the head...

Day 139 - Snow?

It was suppose to snow in SF on Friday, but of course we didn't get any.  However, it did snow in GV and I guess there was about 4 feet of snow - and no power.  We lost about four trees with one taking out the power line.   Oh yea and the cable.

So I have been very excited about the HBO series Game of Thrones.  I have been reading (actually listening) to the series and I think it will be great television.  Though it does get a bit convoluted so a score card will be needed of course.  But I do hope we get our cable back by the time the series starts.  Also we are going to need to plant some trees to keep the noise of the road down.   I guess I am glad that we didn't end up going, I would have just wanted to turn around anyway (with no hot water or heat) snow just isn't fun when your cold.

We have an overcast day today - but I am not sure it will be rain, definitely not snow.  I think that I got my last chance at snow this weekend, so goodbye snow until next year.

Day 138 - There is a dog in my face

I have a month before I can start using my feet again so I tried weights and crunches and leg lifts.  The first day I did that I got a dog thinking I am on the floor to play.  She starts grabbing at my jacket and trying to pull me across the floor as I tried to keep my exercise going.  I felt like the Morton Salt Girl.  She managed to get my sweater off and then started for my poor unprotected arms.  Well at least she didn't go for my feet.

I don't like upper body exercise - it is too hard.  I can't do too many and I don't get "tired" like I should.  I am doing crunches and yes I am feeling the burn, but...do I really want to feel the burn.  Over the years I have been walking and using my legs so I have strength in the legs that I don't have in the arms so maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

Day 137 - Food Nazi

I have noticed that when people quit bad habits they become  like obsessed with other people doing that same bad habit and they kind of go overboard.  We have someone like that in group.  To say that he is obsessed is an understatement, he is exercising 3 hours a day has a personal trainer and has gone vegetarian.  This same guy could only talk about wanting was a T-bone steak the first couple of weeks.  He is now a vegetarian because it "is healthier" and "it is politically more correct."

I can only speak for myself, but I can not maintain that level of exercise without some goal in mind.  Maybe after years of exercise it will become second nature, but for me I have to have some big plan to keep me motivated.  I have learned that people are not that different, and  whereas some will continue to exercise, for others this may just be a flash in the pan.  I think maybe he will keep it up - he is really enjoying the attention of the weight loss.  Only time will tell.

Now I really liked him up to a couple of weeks ago.  Now I just find him annoying.  For the past two months he keeps saying that he just doesn't understand how he is losing so much weight.  He loses 4-7 pounds every week and he is coming up to his goal weight.  But every time he comes away from being weighed he always says the same thing _"I don't know why I keep losing so much weight."    I mean really - you don't know why you are losing so much weight?

Okay - so maybe I am just tad green...but still.

Day 136 - Showers part two

Well as I said I couldn't get the across the counter shower sleeve on my leg so I have resorted to garbage bags.  I was a little bit taken aback because I couldn't even get it over my foot let alone up the leg so I just chalked it up to another being to large to be accommodated.

The problem was I couldn't figure out why I should have so much trouble getting it over my foot.  I mean really now, I have an average size foot and that doesn't really change that much even when you are overweight.  There are just some areas that just don't get fat with the rest of your body and the foot is one of them (in proportion to the rest of the weight gain.)  So I continued to wrap myself up in garbage bags and accept the tearing of the skin as a ripped off the tape.

So when I came home with this cast on I was like it is way too tight.  The other cast I could put my hand half way down, and pull my leg half way out, but this cast I can barely fit two fingers in.  So I thought what the hell why don't I try and put the shower sleeve on.  Surprise of surprise it fit.  Over my foot and up my leg.  So I took a shower today with the shower sleeve and no plastic bags.  I think it worked, but my foot feels a little damp - oh well...

But that brings me to another point.  I was told that casts weigh about two to three pounds.  TH said that the cast probably weighed five pounds, but I went with the nurse and was very depressed when I gained weight.  My shoe weighs about two pounds and the cast weighs two pounds and I gained a pound - I felt I had gained weight.  But now I am thinking maybe the cast didn't weigh two pounds maybe TH was right and it did weigh 4 or 5 pounds, so maybe I did lose weight that week.  So while I am still weighing myself I can't really say how much I have lost until the cast is off - so we have to wait for four more weeks...ARGH!!!  

Day 135 - Still here - still broken

Well I went to get my cast off, and I was so sure that they were going to take it off for good that I brought my shoe along so I could have something to walk out of there with.  But it wasn't meant to be.

They got me in right away and the tech brought out this hand saw and went to work on my cast.  It kind of freaked me out a little when the saw went through the cast and hit my skin - well maybe it freaked me out a lot.  I jumped and let out a little little squeal and all I could imagine was my leg is shreds - but all I got was a nasty look from the tech.  I guess that is better then a chopped off leg.  But she didn't say anything until TH came in and I told him that she almost cut my leg off - and then she said yea your are kind of jumpy.  HRMPH!!!

I am sure that I am probably the most annoying patient that they had today.  I kept whining about the cast being put back on, whining when they said four weeks, whining when I told them that the Doc last time told me I would be in a walking boot - whining that I couldn't do the elliptical (it doesn't hurt at all when I do it) whining that I didn't like to do upper body exercises, whining that I am not going to use the d*** crutches.

Speaking of the d*** crutches - I nearly fell and broke my other leg trying to figure out how to use those d*** things.

BLECH to all you two footed people out there.

Day 134 - Size matters

As I have said before and I will say again - I was built for survival.  There are those poor skinny people who have to really work to keep the weight on and probably won't survive when the famine hits in 2012.  But me and mine will.  We can survive on less then 1000 calories a day walk 10 miles and not lose weight.  How many of you out there can do that?  Huh?

After 20 weeks of low calorie dieting I have yet to break the 1/2 way mark - whereas most of my group is done or within 15 pounds of goal.  Mind you I am not complaining (well not alot) but I sometimes find it disheartening to be in the group and be the only one that still has such a long ways to go.  I don't really feel like I am part of the group anymore.  They are on a different agenda and I am still on the weight loss agenda.

All ready we are having some attrition.  One person just quit and others are not coming on a regular basis.  Of the group of twenty we are averaging about 13 per session, and I have a feeling it is going to get worse as time goes on.

I have watched the other group (the one that is six weeks ahead of us) dwindle down to maybe four of five people, and soon I suspect that there will be none.  What if they all quit coming?  I think I need that weekly weigh in to keep myself honest.  The thirty weeks is up April 26, and then what about the rest of the 82 weeks?  That is one more year - and if I am the only one showing up will they still do it?  Oh well I guess I will worry about it later.    

Day 133 - Start of Week 20

It is hard to believe that I have been doing this now for five months.  It hasn't been a struggle everyday or even every other day, but now I am struggling a little.

Though I haven't "gone off" I am having problems figuring out what to eat.  And because I am on a plateau I think that I haven't been eating correctly, but I have been writing everything down and I am finding that I am under the calories.  I know this was my problem before when I was trying to lose weight - what do I eat?

I bought food on line, but they are dinners, and it is too much to eat two of them a day.  Everyone has advice - cut it in half try cooking one meal - but trying their suggestions just didn't work.  And I worry - TH made yummy cucumber salad and I found I couldn't stop eating it.  Even when my brain said stop.  Just like before.  Brain says stop but it taste too good so I keep eating.  Luckily it wasn't caloric, but that isn't the point - the point was I couldn't stop.  It must be that missing hunger signal or something.

I am staying the course and while I am suppose to be eating 1200 calories I am eating more like 900 calories, and I know that is very bad.  But when I try upping the calories I freak out.  I know this is a contradiction with the cucumber salad, but that was the first time that I had something that I really liked.

Before I wold have thought that I am all alone on this, but I think that if I am struggling with this others in the group are too.  I don't know how many are as dedicated to this program as I am, but I can see how many in the group would gain weight during this period.  Though it has been five months I am trying to change habits that have 20 years in the making, so it isn't quite as easy as people may believe.

Day 132- Plateau

So I am now on a plateau.  How do I know?  Well I haven't lost anything since the cast was put on.  How do I feel about that?  I figure it is better now so I can blame it on the cast then to go through all the drama knowing I am working really hard on not eating and still not lose any weight.

The problem?  Of course it is the exercise.  I haven't done the weights - I really don't know how to do the weights and it feels wrong when I do them so...I know that one can injury oneself if they do weights incorrectly - and I really don't need any more injuries.  I was thinking of getting someone to come here and help me but we are suppose to be saving money so maybe later.

I also haven't tried to go down and do the stationary bike.  Walking down those winding steps and into the cold gloomy basement  doesn't sound appealing (even though I did get a heater for the other room and I have a brand new computer in there.)  So I think today after we go to Office Depot I will try and do the bike.  Every day that goes by I think that I am going to have to start all over again.  Maybe I will, but I might as well try to start now - huh.

Also I was planning on doing the 50 mile walk in Carlsbad to make up for the one I am missing now, but I haven't heard back from the charity with the question I asked.  I wasn't expecting a yes answer, but I was expecting an answer.  Because they haven't responded I am seriously considering not doing the other walk - if they can't respond to a donor then I can't bother to donate.  So do I find another charity to do the walk or do I bag the 50 miles?  I don't know right now I feel like bagging it.  Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.

Day 131 - Sun came home

It looks like the sun finally came home.  I do see some clouds out in the distance, but otherwise it is a beautiful day.

Yesterday was rainy and gloomy and I was feeling rainy and gloomy.  Didn't want to do much of anything but sit around and play games.  I have to say that my blood pressure goes up with the one game that I just an't seem to win.  Now I have never been that good at those kind of games, I am not aggressive enough and my feeling actually get hurt when I am constantly attacked.  You this battle is three against one, and I just don't know how to win it.  I feel my frustration boiling to the surface and wanting to throw the machine out the window.  I need a kinder gentler world then the one that they have made.  So I read the walk-throughs and try them, but still I a lose.

I should just have a bit L on my head.

Day 130 - Work Work Work

M and I went out and worked at our favorite client, but everyone was gone so I didn't get any gossip this year...All should be a surprise come September though.

It has been very cold and rainy days - and I miss the sun.  I was thinking that it is good that I hurt my foot, because I don't have to walk in the rain.  But I look at over the ocean and think I should be out there...

T has been a real pain in the you know what.  She kept me up last night wanting to play kill the pillow, but she absolutely kills the pillow so it isn't really all that fun to play with her.

Wow looking out the window I see a bright light - maybe aliens or...fishing boats?  I really need a telescope that lives on my desk.

TH keeps the house so cold that I have taken to wearing mittens in the house.  Also at night I wear sweat pants and a jacket along with all the blankets.  Before I could take a shower and warm up that way, but it just is too hard to get into the garbage bags.  I think tonight I will have to wear mittens also.

Oh the H with it - I am turning up the heat.

Day 129 - Behind

I am a day behind so I thought I would write this to catch up.  OOOH Ted is home.  I guess I will finish tomorrow so now I am caught up.

Day 128 - Group

Group was very "relaxing" so to speak.  We had a nutritionist come to talk to us about our eating (something different this week?) and she then spent the time trying to teach us to meditate.  So for about half an hour she was telling us to go to our "quiet" place -breath in deeply breath out fully- you know the stuff T2 told me to do when I need to get up a hill.  She even looked a bit hippyish.

So she went over the same stuff why do we eat do we know why we eat how to control eating...learning that it is okay to binge, but how to get our minds around the fact that if we binge we can still continue our diet.   I am still on the fact that they accept failure and that failure is inevitable at some point in time.  I still don't understand why failure has to be expected.  I have spent the last 14 years accepting failure, waiting for the "right" time and when that time didn't come accepting it and then gaining more weight.

Before I started this program I expected to fail, now I expect to succeed and because of that I don't have any desires that are stronger then that I want to succeed.  I look at some foods and think that would be good to eat, but my desire to succeed outweighs the food (haha).

So the interesting part of the whole program was she asked a question - how do you know your hungry?  I hadn't eaten that much that day so I knew I should be hungry, but I wasn't -or I didn't think I was.  So as we meditated we were to understand our hunger cues and understand that feeling of hunger.  Truth be told I couldn't tell.  The only time that I do know when I am hungry is when my stomach feels like it is eating itself.  I think that is "too" hungry, but I don't seem to have any other bodily cues that I am hungry.  Which explains why when I wake up I am never "hungry" how I can go all day and never be "hungry" then my stomach starts hurting and I am ravenous.  I must be broken.    

Day 127- Food

Well when we first started eating food again everything tasted good, but now I am having trouble gagging some of the food I ordered down.  I ordered eggs from this place and I have to say I wasted alot of money on them.  I used to get eggs from Nutrisystem that were so good I couldn't wait to get up and eat them, but these eggs were absolutely horrible!!  Don't even get me started on the Turkey bacon.   And the berries - baby food and warmed up?  Yuck!!  I think this will be the last time that I buy from them.  I had some nice chicken (just grilled chicken) but everything else I have tried has been bad...

And to tell the truth after three weeks of chicken breast - I am tired of that also.

So back to the drawing board I need to find food that I like (at least for the most part) and go with that.  

Day 126 - Group

Yesterday was just work and scrabble, today I have to go to a client and group.  I think that I have gained 4 pounds and the cast weighs 5 so maybe I lost a pound - but the weight isn't coming off without the exercise.

I am thinking of getting a personal trainer for the weights, but I don't think I am sure that I want to embarrass myself with them.  Oh well - I used to be strong and now I am not.  I wonder how long it would take to strenghten back up?

T2 got me hooked on Scrabble - I thought how hard could it be I read alot.  So I asked one of the group people to play with me.  My butt was smashed to smithereens!!  I had 140 points she ended with 520.  Then on face book the rank all my friends who play scrabble (I have a lot of friends on facebook because I used to play games on it and if you have 500 friends then you have a full army so ...I have over 500 friends, but I don't know who 480 of them are) and out of my many friends who play scrabble she was ranked number 1...I am not ranked thank you very much.  

Day 125 - It is all about the shower

So stuck in the house all day I think about when I am going to take my shower.  It is truly a pain to shower and it isn't something I look forward to.  But I am trying to shower at least every other day.

This is really hard because I am used to two showers a day and now I am lucky to get one.   My feet are looking a little dirty and I don't know if that is the bruising or my feet are just dirty.

It has been six days since I have had this thing on and I have to say I am ready ready ready to get it off.  Life is just not as fun having to clomp around and not being able to get up and go whenever you want.  You are confined to the whims of others and we have to live with cabin fever.

So as far as the program is going I am not doing really well.  I haven't been eating the full amount of food I am suppose to, but I am afraid to now.  Before I was probably burning between 500-1000 calories a day with exercise, and I know my wimpy weights is not burning those kind of calories.  In fact I don't like weights, I find it too difficult for too little reward.  So even though I know that I should do weights even after this little disaster I know that it probably won't happen.

Well I am going back to work and think about taking a shower.

Day 124 - New Day Same Ole Same Ole

So the most exciting part of my day as you could probably guess is taking showers and how to keep the cast dry.  Yesterday I tried to garbage bags and it was okay except that I panicked.  So today I got the "seal tight" tried to put it on and found it wouldn't over my foot cast.  Now I know I have big legs, but I never realized that I had such a big foot.

It would have been quite amusing for anyone watching me as I tried to put the bag over my foot.   Then I started to wonder if I was suppose to take off the rubber - but then it wouldn't be waterproof.  So I worked and worried the thing until I was almost in tears.  I went back to the garbage bag.

It would have been great if it had fit.

Day 123 - Nothing new

There was nothing new that happened this day.  My office is getting more out of hand and I am spending more time reading cookbooks and waiting for time to eat.

I did shower and it was very difficult tyring and keeping the cast dry.  I got in the shower and I thought I felt the water dripping down my leg so I hopped out got the floor wet (much like trying to wash a dog) and proceeded to lose my balance.

I had to garbage bags on and had taped up the first one and when I stood it slid down so I put the second one and taped it to my skin.  Boy did that hurt coming off, but it stayed dry which was surprising ( really did think it was dripping down my leg.)

So I tried finding weights so I could exercise but of course I couldn't find them so I ended up just getting in bed and pouting.  And that was my day.

Day 122 - SFB

Well as everyone probably read in TH's comment I did take the keys to the car when I got out.  I was more surprised that it still ran.  When he told me that I had taken the keys I envisioned the car stalled in the middle of Geary and TH swearing up a storm at me.

When I got in to see the Dr. she said that it was probably a sprain and  that I could go to PT - but to get X-rays first.  Now I wish I hadn't gotten the x-rays.  As I sit here my toes are literally freezing.  Anyway when I got to the podiatrist she told me all about the break and how I was going to be in a walking cast.  As most of you know I have never broken a bone before, so I was very excited when she told me because I thought it meant that I could still go for my walk.  So I said I am going for the MS walk the first weekend of March I can still do it with the walking cast right?  I don't know what she thought - but she gave me a weird look and said no I don't think so.  So then I said how about just 10 miles and she laughed and said no.  Then I cried.  Then she felt bad.

I thought a walking cast was some type of protective boot for my foot.  I didn't not think it would be this huge unyielding  thing wrapped around my whole lower leg.  I mean the break was just this tiny thing in my ankle - why do they have to wrap my entire leg?

The problem is that I have calluses on my feet that I am going to lose and then I am going to have to start all over!!  I worked hard to get those calluses and I don't think it is fair that I have to start all over again building up the calluses just because I tripped.  I have fallen lots of times during this process and haven't hurt myself why this time?  The universe has conspired against me and it is a beautiful day AGAIN and I can't even go for a little walk.  I guess it would be a good time to catch up on some work.

Day 121 - Broken

Well I went to the doctor today and she said it looked like a sprain and was sending me to PT after I got an X-Ray.

After the X-Ray

Day 120 - First day back to work

Well I started working again today.  I don't know if that is good or bad, but I now am juggling two audits and still have one unfinished review, so already I see weekend ahead.

My client who I have worked with now for over three years didn't notice a thing - so I guess I still not showing.  It is kind of like having a baby but in reverse.

Group was actually very very boring.  We talked about food - imagine that.  But we were told that we could have one teaspoon of fat - I mean really - one teaspoon - what can you do with a teaspoon?  So she told us we had to eat the fat - it gave us energy - but really one teaspoon?  She broke it down into different fat groups and it is two teaspoons of lowfat salad dressing - 1/2 teaspoon of butter etc.  What that will cover three lettuce leaves - lets get real one teaspoon of fat is not worth eating.

I don't know the only thing I really got out of this was eat blueberries because the studies they have done with rats who ate blueberries was that they were smarter and lived longer.  So EAT BLUEBERRIES!!!

Day 119-Exercise

Well I haven't exercised since Wednesday and I tried the stationary bike, but it hurt my foot so I was resigned to not exercise, but I decided to try the Elliptical just in case (I was pretty sure the elliptical would hurt and the stationary bike wouldn't) and what do you I was able to do it.  So I wasn't really prepared, but I did get 45 minutes on it and my heart rate actually went up.  I guess one gets out of shape fairly quickly.  So I have a plan to maybe do the elliptical for 5 hours, that should be the same as walking  right?

So I made a few mistakes this week on the food.  I didn't plan out my meals like I should have, so I am going to really plan the meals out next week.  I didn't plan for the extra food I was suppose to be eating so since I didn't know what to do I just didn't eat it.  I know that isn't how it is suppose to work so I will plan all meals starting Wednesday.

At this point in time the food seems like alot, and compared with what I was eating it is.  The problem is that the amount for the day that I am getting now is about the amount I would get as an appetizer at dinner.  In a restaurant a simple dinner salad is the amount of calories I am allowed for the whole meal.  The facilitator said that going out was going to be the hardest part, so I figure maybe going out should be what it used to be something really special...

So the first meal out will be May 6 at Post Ranch Can't wait!

Day 118 - Beautiful Day

There was a group called Its a Beautiful Day and my favorite song was White Bird.  Reading a little history they wrote the song in Seattle - fitting - but they were a SF band.  But it is a beautiful day and I am stuck in my cage. Boo hiss.

My foot is still hurting and it wants to go walking, but I won't let it and it is throwing a fit.

T on the other hand is eating a bully stick and stinking up the room.

TH is at work and I am ready for a nap.  It is hard being a Grandma.

Day 117 - Plastic surgery

Well if I complete this whole thing and lose the weight that I need I will end up needing plastic surgery.  I am hoping that with the exercise it won't be too bad, but in GV I did notice that my thighs were already showing ARGH - loose skin.  It is just one of those things.

I am also noticing my neck is looking worse - and now I will probably look more like 72 then 52 ARGH!!!  I don't know why I am being vain now - I wasn't before - obviously.

I decided that I was going to watch Oprah Winfrey's last season.  I never really watched her before, but I was intrigued sooo.  Anyway they had Bo Derek on and I actually found her interesting.  But she was talking about her neck too - so I know that it isn't just me.  I think the neck thing bothers alot of people.

I haven't been able to exercise since our walk on Wednesday.  I actually feel like me foot is healing.  Everywhere I read on the internet they said two to three weeks, but I am walking better on the foot, so I think it is only a grade 1 sprain (xx my fingers)

I am a little amazed how fast it seems to be healing.  So keep your fingers crossed for me too.

Day 116 - DISASTER!!

Well a very bad thing happened today - I fell down and hurt my ankle.  As I was falling I heard something - I don't know a snap  I think and then I was down.  My ankle hurt to move and I was afraid the snap was a bone -  so I was afraid to stand up.  TH was there embarrassed to see me sprawled on the ground and was sitting there telling me to get up I didn't hurt myself.  I just love that - he could tell I hadn't hurt myself - I am happy to hear that.  Brings me to another time in my life when a boy told me to stop crying like a baby I wasn't that badly hurt. I had been riding my brothers bike which didn't have brakes (probably why he let me ride it) and I was going to fast had to make a turn and my foot (which was in sandals) was used to stop the bike - tearing my entire toenail off.  Now I know everyone has seen the movies where the good guys are tortured by tearing fingernails off - yes let me tell you it is a bit painful.  But my brother thought I was being melodramatic and told me to keep it down and to stop crying.  I remember I tried not to cry I put both my lips closely together and all I remember was a muffled wail.

So I am laying face down in the dirt and TH is telling me get up he didn't see me twist my ankle that everything was all right - and I just kept telling him I couldn't get up.  I am lying there and he keeps telling me to get up I wasn't hurt get up.  All he was worried about was that he wouldn't be able to get me out- he had bit of a panic in his voice as he kept saying get up get up.  And he just stood there.  I still had Taya wrapped around my wrist and if I was going to get up I was going to need both hands so I finally told him to come take the dog.  The next thing I know he is like 100 paces ahead of me and I am limping along holding onto the guard rail.  I tell him I have to sit down, I felt like I was going to pass out he told me I was fine.  I think I was hyperventilating but that didn't matter as I really did feel like I was going to pass out.  I did make it to the car 10 minutes after he did - would have been pretty funny if I had fallen again - huh.  

So sympathy just wasn't coming my way.  I think everyone is annoyed with me - I really could have used my mom about now, but she broke her hip so hmm whose pain is worse?  I think she wins this one.

He has been nice to me since we have been home -

But I have made a new new years resolution - I am always going to have shaved legs - if I fall again I certainly don't want to be regarded as the hairy one (or is it the hippy one?)

Day 115 - Grandson

For all of you out there who don't know I am officially a "grandmother".

Day 114-Twelve miles - dang

We walked Sawyer Camp Road (not Sawyer Canyon) and we walked the full 12 mile stretch.  It was a beautiful walk and the pathway was used mostly by cyclist so once we made to the 2.5-3.0 mile mark there weren't too many people on foot.

I do have to say that I have heard people talk about blisters under the toenail, but I didn't think it was possible.  I do have blisters under the toenail, it just started on the side of the toe and worked its way under.  I boinked about the 4-5 mile and I wasn't sure how I was going to get back - but we rested for about 20 minutes at the 6 mile mark so I felt a bit invigorated - and I took off my shoes and massaged my feet so that felt good also.

So I was good for another 1.0-1.5 then I just crashed TH went zooming ahead and a limped behind.  I thought that there was a rest area at the 3 mile mark so that kept me going until that came and went.  By the time I got to the rest area I was in tears.  Nine miles and I couldn't move.  I again took off my shoes and massaged my feet, ate my optifast bar rested a bit took a nap on TH and I was good to go - all the way to the 5.5 mile mark then I couldn't move - really I couldn't move.  My feet hurt so bad I thought it would feel better if I amputated.

TH on the other hand was a monster.  He made it there and back without a whimper.  He hasn't been walking  but he was able to do the whole twelve miles and then make me dinner!!!  TH I ILOVEYOU.

Day 113- Pit Bulls

We went to Candlestick for our walk, I wanted to walk far and long, so we got there and I started ambling along (no fifteen minute miles today) and all is going really good - my new shoes seem to be working and T is not pulling on the leash.

I park in the far lot so I can get some extra mileage which means that we have to walk along the street and the parking lot where all the "hoods" hang out.  Usually they ignore us or they want to talk about T, but we don't have any problems and I never get nervous there.  So today the parking lot was full and people were playing the music really loud laughing probably doing drugs that sort of thing.  As an aside I notice that the guys hang out (get of the of the cars) but the girls stay in the cars.  I wonder what that is all about.  They bring the girlfriends to the park and then the socialize with their buddies and the girls sit in the car???  Anyway back to the story, so we walked by with no incident.

I actually got really tired (I don't know I am seeming to get tired after 4-5 miles) and then I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:30 and they close the gate at 4 so I had to hurry back to the car so off we went to the far end of the lot.  I wasn't paying much attention listening to my BOT when I saw two Pit Bulls running free.  Right were I wanted to walk.

Since they were running free I didn't think much about it until the owners saw me and T.  Then they started screaming at the dogs and tried to grab them.  They couldn't grab one of them and the dog came charging at us.  For the first time in my life I was afraid for T's life.  I tried to keep really calm and not make any threatening movements but I did feel a touch of fear creeping in.  I knew if the dog attacked T I couldn't get in the way, so I just let T handle it.  T stood really still as the dog came up and sniffed her - then she sniffed the dog but she stayed still, didn't wag her tail just looked at me for guidance.  The owner was still trying to catch the dog and so I stood still hoping he could catch the dog if T and I didn't move.

Over on the side line the guys were laughing - one commented that he was wagging his tail so everything was okay, another said that he wouldn't attack a female, that didn't give me much confidence, and all the while the dog kept running around us, and I refused to move.  Finally he (the dog) runs about 100 feet away from us so I start walking towards a bridge and he comes at us that way so I move and walk along side the bridge hoping the owner can get the dog on the bridge, instead the dog gets away the owner smacks his hand on the wood and starts screaming he is going to kill the dog.  That was it for me - I told T to giddyup and we went like a bat out of hell - Both of us were relieved to have them behind us.  I think I am going to let that park rest for a while.