I dreamed of death last night. Not that I was dead, but I was dying. I was with someone and they had hooked up the chemo to my hand. I thought about it and thought I was just too tired to do anymore chemo so I took the chemo out. Then I started thinking I am only 48 years old it isn't fair to mom and dad for me to die, so I tried to put the chemo back in and I couldn't. I started thinking about death and its finality and thought I can struggle a little more...
Now I don't know how I came up with my age, but I do know that I didn't have chemo when I was 48. I think the dream had something to do with the diet, but I just don't know. I will ponder it and get back to you on that.
Water ... ugh ... I decided I was dehydrated yesterday so I started to drink more water. Trying to get back to drink flush drink flush. So I kept drinking all day and all night and finally I feel hydrated again, however, I am totally sick to my stomach. I have drunk so much water my stomach aches. I try and wake up and drink cold water in the morning before anything (they say that will jump start your metabolism that it is harder to process cold water then warm water - and I am trying to do exactly what they tell me to do.) This morning I got up and downed 16 oz of water then finished what was in my bottle (maybe 4 ozs) and I was sure that I was having some kind of attack. It almost felt like what it feels like when I overeat, but this time no delicious food was involved. So we know that 20 oz of water over fills my stomach, I am not sure if that is a lot or not. But I do know I just put 1.33 pounds in my stomach. I have to think about this for a while and I will get back to you.
Finally my leg was killing me yesterday. TH thought hamstring, T2 thought hamstring or sciatica (sp), I just don't know, but I do know this stupid diet won't let you take pain relievers, so I was in pain for most of the day and that put me in a bad mood. Maybe that is were the dream came from. Anyway I woke and the pain is gone.
So it is raining today. I haven't worked in a week, maybe today I will work.
TH (weird initials - how about T' as in"T Prime") aka "The Human" (I guess better than "TI" - The Inhumane)likes the rain & the sound is nice even if it does cloud up our glasses.
ReplyDeleteTH made T3 use the hot tub twice - it helps with the back/leg - which I believe is a hamstring for T3 rather than sciatica (TH has sciatica & losing weight will help plus more stretching exercises).
T3 once said that age "43" was the age she'd RIP, so we're at least 9 years past that rather pessimistist outlook & I expect many more for T3.
TH & T3 are good at cancelling events, so part of out MUTUAL goals are to plan AND execute. The rain is slacking off, so maybe it's a "walk" time?
DeYoung tour & Botanical Gardens next on the agenda with walk around Marin Lake scheduled for Thanksgiving!
TH threw away MANY mags, etc. - when will T3 notice?
Wow! your poor brain is on overdrive. It's no wonder with all that's going on in your body. Strange and uncomfortable dreams. But on the plus side you woke up pain free! Yippee!
ReplyDeleteAs for sciatica vs hamstring, I'm not sure. I always thought sciatica pain was mostly in the butt and hamstring pain was mostly in the thigh. But until it comes back, we don't have to worry about it. Hot tub and gentle stretching is good for both. Yay TH!