Day 277 - Others Blogs

I have been reading other peoples blogs about weight loss, and whereas I always thought I was unique in my observations (people only treated me bad because of my weight) I was astounded out how similar the blogs were.

One in specific talked about the plane - the seats - the belts.  The shame.  She was eloquent about how flying was so stressful for obese people, she even spoke of things I have not, but I do.

When you are waiting to get on, obese people look around to see if there are people larger then you getting on the plane as well.  Actually hoping that there is.  I would always look and if I saw a large person I would have a slight feeling of relief.

I remember one flight where this large woman got on and we sat across the aisle from one another, this was before I had my extenders, so I sat struggling to get the seat belt on, and I looked across at her to see what she was doing.  Well she had pulled the seat belt across her lap but didn't buckle it.  I was sure that they would ask her to buckle it, but they ignored her.  And she flew without a seat belt on.

I was never confidant enough to do that, so I always buckled and struggled, and generally (50% of the time) the stewardess would ask me if it was buckled.  I am sure they knew I struggled, and I am not sure that they would have given me an extender if I couldn't buckle the seat, so I was never sure why they asked.

But I am digressing, these other peoples blogs, they are wonderful and well written, poignant and beautiful, and they capture the heartache of the world of the obese.  Obese people do not stand together, but hide in shame, and in that place they can't/won't change.  I wanted to lose the weight alone, I did not want to share my weight with anyone, so I struggled for years to lose weight.  During that struggle, T2 and T1 kept telling me I needed a group, I needed to be held accountable, I needed people who knew what I was going through.  I probably wouldn't have done a group thing if the Optifast program didn't insist on it.

But it did, I did, and I am slowing getting better.  Because of Optifast, because of the group.