I seem to have been talking quite a bit about my weight loss, which makes me reflect on what I am doing and what I expect from it. Sometimes I find what comes out of my mouth surprises me. It is like do I really believe that? Where did that come from?
I had lunch with Z the other day and we were discussing the emotional implications of the weight loss. I told her if someone our age wants to lose weight because they want to look better they might as well forget about it, because you are not going to become a beautiful 25 year old by losing the weight. In some cases it might even make you look worse, showing your age or even aging you more then your age (if that makes sense.)
I realized that prior to my commitment to lose weight, I had at the back of my mind that even if I did lose the weight I was too old to be attractive anymore. And if I couldn't be attractive why should I lose the weight? I live in a society where looks are the be all and end all, so it is all about looks and so if you are old it is hard to get motivated to lose the weight.
But then you realize as you try to squeeze into a chair or walk up the hill it really has very little to do with looks. People will be nicer to you, they will accept you as a person, not because you are good looking, but because you are not fat. In this society that beauty thing is pretty much over by the time you hit forty. Very few older women are described as beautiful. That is a word to describe the young. But surprisingly if you are older and obese, you really are not judged as harshly then if you are young and obese. In fact there is a certain leeway older people are given for their weight that is not lent to the younger person, but do not get me wrong just because people are more lenient towards the older obese person they still are not forgiving. If you are fat that is the only description people will generally use to describe you. We will never be the woman with the blond hair and brown eyes, just that fat woman.
It is the way of this society for good or bad.
I had lunch with Z the other day and we were discussing the emotional implications of the weight loss. I told her if someone our age wants to lose weight because they want to look better they might as well forget about it, because you are not going to become a beautiful 25 year old by losing the weight. In some cases it might even make you look worse, showing your age or even aging you more then your age (if that makes sense.)
I realized that prior to my commitment to lose weight, I had at the back of my mind that even if I did lose the weight I was too old to be attractive anymore. And if I couldn't be attractive why should I lose the weight? I live in a society where looks are the be all and end all, so it is all about looks and so if you are old it is hard to get motivated to lose the weight.
But then you realize as you try to squeeze into a chair or walk up the hill it really has very little to do with looks. People will be nicer to you, they will accept you as a person, not because you are good looking, but because you are not fat. In this society that beauty thing is pretty much over by the time you hit forty. Very few older women are described as beautiful. That is a word to describe the young. But surprisingly if you are older and obese, you really are not judged as harshly then if you are young and obese. In fact there is a certain leeway older people are given for their weight that is not lent to the younger person, but do not get me wrong just because people are more lenient towards the older obese person they still are not forgiving. If you are fat that is the only description people will generally use to describe you. We will never be the woman with the blond hair and brown eyes, just that fat woman.
It is the way of this society for good or bad.
two extremely interesting blogs, i must say.
ReplyDeletethe part about being too old to be attractive merits further discussion. i think people forget that they are too old to be attractive. or they think about being attractive within their age group, right? or maybe that's wrong. hmmmmm.
No No No!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI still think T3 is beautiful & attractive & fun - I know I'm biased, but you ALL know I am right here.
I agree with older people being given more leeway, but I think WOMEN give themselves less leeway than they should. Men seem to be better at either ignoring the weight or trying to get the "angle" right in the mirror where you don't look quite so chunky.
T3 will always be the woman with the light brown hair & the lovely eyes - TSH