Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Day 406 - Dieting

So I have been doing this program for over a year now, and I keep saying I am dieting, but really I am not dieting anymore.  I have more weight to lose, but I have stopped thinking of it as a diet.  I realized a few months ago it is always going to be watching what I put in my mouth, and now that I found out that I genetically predisposed toward obesity I will always be watching til my teeth won't work anymore.

The point is this is the amount I probably will always have to eat.  Losing a pound or two a week will eventually slow down as I continue to lose weight, so by the time I actually hit my goal weight my guess is this is all I can eat to maintain.  But even now I allow myself certain times off from the strictness of the food intake, so I don't really have that feeling of being deprived as I did many years ago.  But it is the acceptance that I am eating this way for the rest of my life, and there won't be a time that I can say I am done.  I am done, have been for the last year, and probably (hopefully) for years to come.

So I don't cheat, don't go off it.  Don't say oh goodness I had something I shouldn't so let the gates open and all of that stuff.  I eat something that isn't "good" I look at it in the scheme of my intake and diet and decide then what to do about it.  Am I done eating for the day?  Do I do an extra exercise?  Or have I done enough that I don't have to worry about it.

There are days that I want to gorge, that I hear that old voice saying what does it hurt to go off just for today, eat whatever you want come on you know you want it.  And I find myself reaching for that illusive food that will satisfy whatever I am craving for, but I have overcome those impulses for now.  I don't know what will happen if I give in to that voice, but for now, today I have overcome.

2 comments:

  1. Given what you've gone through, I'm 100% sure you WON'T give in.

    You're one tough lady (although I happen to be pretty darn biased in your favor)!

    Now, if TSH can only get organized, we'll all be set.

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  2. Ah, we could write a book about the voices in our heads, couldn't we?

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