Day 255- Travel

So for years I have hated traveling, and all to do with my size.  Before the weight (hereinafter BW is before weight gain) I loved traveling, I had no problems getting on planes and going.  In fact I found it fun.

After the weight gain (hereinafter AW) I hated traveling and would get physically sick just the thought of having to go get on a plane.  It wasn't just the seat situation, it was everything.  I had trouble bending down and tying my shoes and then getting back up again, so I had to get slip on shoes, but that sucked because they don't make comfortable slip on shoes.  So I wouldn't have a problem going through security, but then my feet would kill me for the rest of the day.  But it was a trade off I made.  Comfort versus embarrassing myself.

Then when they would look at me during the security part, I was sure they were putting secret messages on my plane ticket, like should we really let her through.  She is really to big to be flying - blah blah blah.  I am sure that they were thinking that, but probably didn't put that on my plane ticket.  But hey I get my paranoia honestly.

My wrist got to large that I couldn't get my bracelets off, so I would have to be scanned every time I went through security, irritating and embarrassing having someone pat you down.   I would get so nervous about it, then I would sweat and then I would stink for the rest of the trip, very annoying.  I finally ended up cutting my beautiful bracelets off because I just couldn't handle it anymore.

I started going first class maybe 7/8 years ago, only because the seats were larger and I was afraid if I didn't go first class they would charge me for an extra seat.  They kept saying on the news they were doing that for some airlines.  I just couldn't go through the humiliation of having to buy a second seat, so I started going first class.

Then there was the seat belt.  I outgrew the seat belt, and I would sit there struggling to get it on.  Once on I daren't take it off for fear that I wouldn't get it back on.  Trying to put the seat belt on my large frame freaked me out and I would start to sweat (see above going through security)  I always managed to get it on, but it was a struggle, and sometimes I would have to put the seat back to get it on.  Then the flight was always miserable because the damn seat belt was digging into me.  I would come away  black and blue from the seat belt.

I was doing too much flying to keep trying to get my double wide into a single wide, so I happened upon seat belt extenders in the travel magazine.  I found where they sold it and bought all four different types just so I would always be prepared.

That made life much easier on the plane, but then I would worry how to discreetly take it out of my purse and put it away, and what if the flight attendant wanted to embarrass me and prove I was really buckled up.  I would then begin to sweat wondering if the attendant would come up and ask how the heck did I get the seat belt on, and I would begin to stink (see above.)

Then if we were on a long flight they would always  always feed us in first class, but I had to always turn them down because the damn tray didn't fit over my double wide frame.  When it was time to feed us I would start to get nervous, then start to sweat, then start to stink (see above.)

Then if the plane hit turbulence I would wonder if we would go down because they had all my extra weight, and maybe the would just throw me out first because I weighed to dang much.  Really that always went through my mind.

Then I started worrying about my seat mate,  by the time they sat down beside me, I had been drenched at least 3 times, and I was very very ripe.  I would hold my arms really close to my sides and hope that they couldn't smell me.

So I think I have made it very clear that traveling did happen to probably take a few months off my life everytime I did it.

So going to Las Vegas this weekend had me on pins and needles.