I am afraid of many things, I have phobias up the yingyang and I am a bit neurotic, which does not explain how I became morbidly obese.
I figured that I gained about ten pounds a year. Some years I might have gained a little more some years a little less, but the bottom line was I was increasing my food intake every year enough calories to gain ten pounds.
But when you look at it that way why didn't I stop at 40 or 50 pounds why did I let it keep going. How did it become so unmanageable. Why did I wait so long to feel good?
Then when I hit a point that I thought oops this weight just might kill me I didn't want to lose 10 pounds every year I wanted to lose it all - now. And I was afraid. I was afraid I wouldn't see my puppy grow up, that I would leave her motherless, and that scared me.
I wanted to do more then sit at my desk and play video games (though I like sitting at my desk playing video games) and I wanted to to be hampered by my weight. I wanted to be able to go to NYC and walk and explore and not worry about my weight when I did things. I used to have nightmares about flying, that my plane got cancelled and I had to fly coach and I couldn't fit in the seat. I didn't want to worry about that anymore.
So if I die younger then I think I should it isn't because I didn't do anything about it, it just is what it is. But I hope to have a longer and healthier life.
I figured that I gained about ten pounds a year. Some years I might have gained a little more some years a little less, but the bottom line was I was increasing my food intake every year enough calories to gain ten pounds.
But when you look at it that way why didn't I stop at 40 or 50 pounds why did I let it keep going. How did it become so unmanageable. Why did I wait so long to feel good?
Then when I hit a point that I thought oops this weight just might kill me I didn't want to lose 10 pounds every year I wanted to lose it all - now. And I was afraid. I was afraid I wouldn't see my puppy grow up, that I would leave her motherless, and that scared me.
I wanted to do more then sit at my desk and play video games (though I like sitting at my desk playing video games) and I wanted to to be hampered by my weight. I wanted to be able to go to NYC and walk and explore and not worry about my weight when I did things. I used to have nightmares about flying, that my plane got cancelled and I had to fly coach and I couldn't fit in the seat. I didn't want to worry about that anymore.
So if I die younger then I think I should it isn't because I didn't do anything about it, it just is what it is. But I hope to have a longer and healthier life.
You certainly are having a healthier life & I'm sure it'll also be longer.
ReplyDeleteYour puppies want to play too - usually with each other, but they like playing with us too!