Day 594 - Say what???

I love these people in group who say I haven't gained any weight or I only gained a couple of pounds.  Come on folks who are you really kidding?  Do you really think I believe that you weigh less then I do?  I mean I have been there, I know.  I know how much I weigh, or like Almond Roca who says she lost 45/50 pounds and I look at her and think really?  I really don't see it.

THere were a couple of large participants in the new group, and I was amazed the other day when I saw one of them.  She was noticeably - and I mean noticeably smaller.  It got me thinking that maybe I thought she was larger then she was when I first looked at her.  I did what I hated people doing with me, I just saw a large woman.   So maybe she wasn't so large.

But my walk with J made me want to go back and look at everyone again.  I know that I said that I didn't think there were many large people in this group, but maybe I was comparing to myself.  What I considered large, and what is actually large maybe two different things.  I am beginning to see myself smaller, but still when I go to the movie theater I hesitate before I sit down wondering how I am going to fit in the seat.  Or when we go out to dinner, is there enough room for my big body, before I realize I am not that big anymore.  But I am still eyeing the space and I still wonder will I fit.

I don't take seat belt extenders, but still I have a little bit of butterflies thinking what if the seat belt won't fit.  Not fitting is the worst.

Then there are people who would be happy losing 10 pounds in three months.  That is way to slow for me.  I know I know I gained 10 pounds a year 10 pounds in three months is good, but...

But they are being realistic.  Should I be more realistic?  No I don't think so, I think I should live in the light.