Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 189 - 27 weeks

It has been 27 weeks since I started this journey, just a little over half a year.  Amazing.  Amazing how far I have come amazing how far I have to go.  Am I changed?  No.  I am fearful of eating certain things because I am afraid that I won't stop.  I am not ready to eat some items, like sweets, but I don't really want sweets that much anymore.

I haven't "fallen" off the diet in 27 weeks.  Not once.  Now that I can eat regular food I keep the calories at the level that I am told to, and I don't eat more then I am allotted.  Discipline - maybe, but more compulsion, you know like a vampire, I can't break it even if I give myself permission to.

I have given myself permission to eat a special meal for Big D's birthday, and I am looking forward to it, but I am not sure what will happen what that day comes.

I have thought about doing the liquid part again, but I am afraid I won't be able to do it a second time.  It is easier when you are doing then when you are thinking about doing it again.  I just don't think that I can do it again.

I keep saying I am going to eat "that" (whatever that may be) when I get off the diet, and I know that is the wrong thing to say, but at times it keeps me going.  What I am planning when I go off my diet - Indian food of course.  I can't wait.  

2 comments:

  1. It *is* hard to believe that it's been almost half a year! It's interesting to hear your observations of yourself. So many of the things you say apply in other areas, too. For example, many things are easier to do the first time -- because they are new and different. I can understand not wanting to do the liquid thing again. Fortunately you won't have to!

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1/2 year - wow! I can not believe how quickly it has gone. I haven't made "Ted's Taco's" in over 6 months - I think I will make them as a treat!

    ReplyDelete